I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
