Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize