I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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