Can Purell be used as lube?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
