are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
