somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
