I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
