jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize