come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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