Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
