Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
