garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
