After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize