my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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