call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
