Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You are a genius and a whore.
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