I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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