i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
