Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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