I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
