There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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