Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
