Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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