I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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