Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
