eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
