I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I pour the whiskey from now on
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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