when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
being pregnant is like rehab
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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