last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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