Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Text me some of your sweat
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