I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize