Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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