rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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