My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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