Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
