Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
