Quick, to the slutcave!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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