census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
