someone owes me an orgasm
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
