He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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