i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
