Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
