I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
