Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
