I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
