There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize