the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your cock deserves a montage
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
