The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i think my cat just said my name.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
