I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We had to coat check the pizza.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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