so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
