I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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