I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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