The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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