He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
