Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
