For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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