my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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