I heard we made out
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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