so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
